Adventures Of Motherhood

We had a scheduled Cesarean delivery, because of our first child and how that delivery went. With our first, she had gotten stuck and would not go forward any more, so we went to emergency c-section. So the doctor thought it would be less risk to just go ahead and plan to have a c-section and schedule it. I wanted to have a natural vaginal delivery, but we scheduled the c-section anyway, just in case. I will admit, I was secretly hoping he would decide to come earlier than the day we had the planned c-section, but alas, he did not! That is okay though! He is a healthy baby and that is all we could ask for! Plus, when I found out how much he weighed, I was thankful for the c-section! 😛

So we had the c-section scheduled for June 25th, 2020. My mom came to town on June 22nd, so she could help with last minute things before he came! Which was nice to be able to spend some time with her before his arrival! She got to be with our daughter, too! Between those days, we were spending time together and enjoying my husband being home also on paternity leave!

June 25th comes. We wake up around 5am, and head to the hospital about 5:30-5:40 that morning; we were to be there by 6am. And since this was during COVID-19, we were to wear masks in the hospital and such. We arrive at the hospital, we go inside, we put on our masks and go upstairs to Labor and Delivery and check in. We are taken to the room where we wait, while they put the IV in me and all that fun stuff! I was not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before. And man! Even though it was 6:30 or so, I was so hungry and thirsty. I couldn’t even have a drink of water or an ice chip. It was rough.

There was a nurse who was about to put the IV in, then another walks in and says “You want me to do that?” The other nurse says okay, while she gets the paperwork and stuff filled out and done. Well, needless to say, I wish the first nurse who was going to put the IV in me in the first place had done it the first time. They poked me three times. The nurse who volunteered to do it instead poked me twice and still didn’t get it so the first nurse did and got it on the first poke. And during this time, mind you, I was feeling sick, lightheaded, nauseous, and dizzy. I end up passing out and they had to give me smelling salts to wake me up. It was rough. But I still couldn’t have any water or at least an ice chip. I wasn’t allowed anything.

Brandon is taking pictures during the time that we are waiting and everything. He takes pictures of me in the hospital gown sitting and laying in the bed with the mask on and everything. We waited in that room about an hour and forty-five minutes before they took us back to the delivery room. Brandon actually took a picture of the clock exactly ten minutes before our son was born! We thought it was kind of funny how that happened!

During the time that they are getting me ready for the surgery, they are checking my vitals and everything, they gave me the spinal tap, which hurt a bit when they put it in, but it definitely took effect pretty quickly. They asked if I was starting to feel numb and tingly and such, and this was after about maybe ten to fifteen seconds and my response? Yep! I was already feeling it! It did work but it did not take all of the feeling. Anyway, so they laid me down, strapped my arms to the side in case I started to seize or something. They put that blue curtain in front of and over me. I had the mask on my face still, which did not help my breathing, especially during surgery, and I had the blue shower/hospital cap on my head. They were about ready to go, they just had to get Brandon in there! So one of the nurses went to go get my husband. He got there a couple minutes later, and they started.

So during a c-section, the doctor is at the end, and the nurses are up at the top next to my belly when it’s time to push. So when they were getting ready to push, the doctor said “Okay, now there’s going to be a little pressure.” I said “okay.” thinking ‘Okay, a little pressure, I figured there would be, ya know..’ Well, a little pressure was more than just “a little pressure”. 😛 It felt like I was still trying to push a baby out myself, they were pushing on my belly to get him out. Kind of like when you are trying to get the last of the toothpaste out of the tube and you are squeezing and pushing with everything you got to get it out so you don’t waste any toothpaste. Weird analogy, I know, but that’s what I thought of! 😛 Anyway, I felt everything with that too. It was definitely more than a tickle! It didn’t exactly feel good. And while they were doing that, even the doctor was saying, before he was even out all the way, he said “Whoa! He’s a little chunker!” Meaning, he’s not a small baby! So anyway, after going through all that pushing and the pressure and everything, you really want to be able to see your baby that you grew inside you for nine months. But could I see him? Nope!

Okay. Remember when I said the spinal tap did work, but it didn’t take all of the feeling(s) away?? Well, this is what I meant. Side note: this is not meant to scare anyone about a c-section or anything, but it is not as easy as a lot of people that I have heard say it is. They say that c-section is the easy way out, that is not counted as “giving birth”. Well, it is! And it is just as hard, if not possibly harder than a natural birth. I know pushing is hard too, I did that too with our first child, so I know it both ways. I am just saying that cesareans are very hard, and I will tell you why.
I felt every incision that was made. I felt them cut every layer of my skin. There are eight layers to cut to get a baby out of a woman. I felt them cut every layer. The spinal tap did help, it would have been much worse had I not had it, but I could still feel just about everything. I had that ugly blue curtain over me and in between me and my baby. When they got him out, I could not see him. I was not the first one to hold him. My husband was. Which is okay, but to be honest, after you go through giving birth, no matter how it happens, you want to be the first one to hold your child. C-sections are super hard, in my opinion for these reasons.
It is a beautiful sight to see your husband holding your baby, but you also don’t get to see him cutting the umbilical cord, you don’t get to see the doctor and nurses carrying the baby over to the little table to clean them up and measure and weigh them. You miss out on all of those things. The first time I got to hold him was in the recovery area after they brought him back to me. I didn’t get to see our son (or daughter) with everything all over him, everything that was all over him when he was growing inside me. But when I saw my husband holding our son, when I saw our son for the first time…..I bawled. I cried my eyes out. He was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen (besides our daughter :P). And I still couldn’t hold him. That was/is HARD!

While they took him to the nursery to finish cleaning him up and everything, they had to sew me back together. They have to irrigate the incisions where they sew or glue back together, and I could feel the irrigation, I could feel them putting me back together. Like I said earlier, I could feel just about everything. And at some point, I don’t know how far they were into putting me back together, but it was getting hard for me to breathe, my chest was getting really tight and I could hardly breathe. The anesthesiologist took off my mask for me (since my arms were still strapped to the side) so I could breathe a little easier. I was getting lightheaded again. After a few minutes, when I had gotten back to breathing a little bit more normal again, he put the mask back on over my face. During the time of stitching me back up, one of the nurses came in and told me how much our son weighed. I couldn’t believe it. We knew he was a good size because I was pretty big and everyone kept asking me, “Are you sure there’s only one baby in there?!” I was all baby when pregnant, but I was still a pretty good size. Our son was 8lbs. 13 ozs. I had to ask them again, I said, “Did they just say “8lbs, 13oz.?” And they said, “Yep!”

They were finally done stitching me back up, and I was headed to the recovery room. Brandon came a little bit later. Even though you aren’t physically trying to push a baby out, going through something like that makes you exhausted. I was beyond exhausted. I was excited that he was finally here, but I was exhausted. But another thing that was different with this delivery than with our daughter, was we could have him in our room with us! It was great! It was different, but a good different! We could see him! We could hold him! Even though I couldn’t move super easily that first day, I could hold my son in our room. We didn’t have to go to another room to hold our child. We even had one of the same nurses that we had when we had our daughter! So it was great to see her again!

With our daughter, we were in the hospital for five days before we were discharged and able to go home. With our son, we were there for two nights and were discharged the next morning before lunch! It was quicker and smoother this time around!

We were and still are proud parents of both our daughter and our son! He is now five weeks old and has already grown so much! Our little girl is doing great with him too! She is a proud big sister! She gives him kisses every morning when she gets up, and almost every night before she goes to bed! It really is very sweet!

During this whole quarantine time, life has been crazy, right? Many people have had to stay home and not work for an unknown period of time. Life has been hectic here, too. With my being pregnant and being in school at the same time – now THAT has been crazy. Since being at the end of the pregnancy and trying to get my classes done before he comes since the term ends after we are to have the baby, has been extremely stressful. It was fine in the beginning of the pregnancy and everything, but with trying to get ready for his arrival and getting the house ready for him, trying to keep the house clean, and food prepared for the the hubby and our daughter, and trying to keep up with everything else going on, and everything, life has just been….hectic!

One of my classes has been extremely stressful this term, but hopefully I will get through it and still pass. I am passing all of my classes now, I just need to keep passing them! To be honest, I probably shouldn’t even be typing this out right now, and should be working on my classes, especially the one that is stressing me out. I literally have about two and a half weeks to get four weeks of classes done. I am a little ahead, but I still need to work on that one class especially because of how much it is stressing me out and we all know that stress is not good for the baby.

This whole pregnancy has been rough. I was sick for the first half, then it finally started to ease up, and it was a ton better. I have still had pains, but not being sick. Although sometimes I would rather be sick than have the pains that I’ve been having. With my first pregnancy, I was hardly sick. I was sick for three weeks around Christmas and that was it. This one has been way different in the sickness and stress department. But we are almost to the end of it. I love feeling him move, which is literally every day from the first time I could feel him. Literally! But I am ready for him to be on the outside!

Our little boy is going to be crazy! He has moved literally EVERY day! From the second I wake up, he starts moving and when I go to bed, he still moves! Which I love knowing that he is still there and is still doing okay, every day, but it’s still crazy that he has moved every day like he has! Ana did not move nearly this much! I guess he knows that I stress and worry a lot, and he knew this would be a hard pregnancy, so he thought he would move every day so that would be one less thing that I worry about! 😛

This year has not been what I thought it would be. I know all of us could probably say that about 2020. But it has been a lot more stressful than I thought it would be. I have been trying to get better with trying to keep the house clean, but when you have a two year old, that is kind of a difficult feat. But it still doesn’t hurt to try, right?! There is a difference between a messy house and a dirty house. Because even though there may be toys everywhere, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t clean. I feel like I clean the house just so that Ana can throw her toys everywhere! Which she does! And that is okay! That is what kids do! And we have another one, who I am sure will do that exact same thing! I just need to work on not worrying about it making the house a “mess”, or at least looking like a mess. It just means that kids live here! 🙂

I had my first maternity session this past week! I wanted to have at least one professional maternity/family session! Since after this one, we aren’t planning on having anymore unless we adopt later on. But anyway, we went to a lake, and it was great! Our little girl LOVES the water, so it was hard to keep her away! We got some fun ones in the water! My husband was busy chasing her almost the entire time! But we got so many good ones! And I wanted to share a few of them with you all!

Motherhood has taught me so much. It has taught me some of my limits, it has taught me that no matter what, everything will be okay. I may feel like I am failing as a mother but we are not failing, we are just learning as we go. It has shown me more about myself and shown me some areas in which I need to grow, which is not a bad thing. We all have areas in our life that we need to grow and improve on! We just can’t be afraid of being wrong, because we are not always right. We make mistakes, we are human. That’s life.

Life may be hectic right now (or always), but that does not mean that it is over. We just need to keep getting back up and not give up! We are not alone!

Alright, many, if not all of us are in quarantine right now. How is that all going for you?! It has been rough at times, but it has also been nice and wonderful! I don’t know about you all, but it has been nice having my husband home! He works nightshift, and although he is technically an “essential” worker, he has stayed home since I’m pregnant and didn’t want to risk bringing something home to me or our daughter. I had just started a job, I had been there about two weeks and they suggested that I stay home for a little while since I’m pregnant, and working at a warehouse is not easy, especially when pregnant. It’s not a super hard job, but when you’re pregnant, it is a bit harder. It is harder on the body, it is more stressful with having to make rate and such, and with all the squatting and everything I was doing, it was definitely hard on the body and on the baby. I still have not been back to work, but we are actually doing okay at home. Better than I thought we would be!

Being at home, being pregnant, being in school all at the same time has been difficult at times. I was already doing school online, but when you’re stuck at home, and only go out for necessities, it is surprising how low your motivation is to actually do the school and the assignments. Being in the third trimester, and being at home with all this time, it is hard to keep track of keeping the house clean, the laundry caught up with, chasing another child, keeping the dogs fed and walked every few hours, and trying to have meals prepared and ready for my husband, and still get sleep – but every bit of it is worth it.

As a wife, what we can do is not give up. The house may not be spotless, and the dishes may be piling up, but just take some time, and get something, at least one thing done every couple of hours. Nothing will be perfect. The house. Laundry. You may not be put together at all, you may look like a complete mess.

Every other day, or sometimes every day, but at least every other day, I will do my hair and makeup and get dressed in nice clothes and try to look nice for my husband. I let him know that even though we may be stuck at home, I can and I still want to try to look nice for him and not always like such a bum. It shows that I haven’t forgotten about his and my relationship, that we can still “date” while quarantined. He has been back to work this last week, so he doesn’t get home till after 5:00am, so I try to have some warm food for when he gets home, then I may stay up with him for a little bit, or I will go back to bed and let him have some time alone to wind down before coming to bed.

My husband and I have had some hard times, but we both know that marriage and any kind of relationship takes time and work. Nothing is perfect in a marriage, everything takes work. Anything worth doing or worth having is not easy.

Life in quarantine is not and does not mean it has to be a bad thing. Make the most of it. Being “stuck” at home with your family means you get to spend more time with your spouse. Personally, I have enjoyed it! We have grown together in our relationship, we have come to know each other even more. Because no matter how long you are with someone, there are always new things to learn about each other! You may or may not always like what you learn, at least not right away, but you can learn to like them! You can figure out more things that you can do together once the quarantine would be over. Things to do together to help your relationship grow even more and stronger.

When you’re stuck in quarantine, you can still leave little notes for your spouse around the house where they will see it as they walk around, or put it in one of the books that they are reading or in between their laptop so when they open it, they see something sweet! Just a few ideas. I love to write, so when I am with someone, I like to write them notes. But in my case, I almost practically write books! I like to write a lot, so my “notes” are not little notes, they are like long letters. That is just the way I am. I like writing notes, and when I see something that reminds me of someone, I will almost always get it to show them that I was thinking of them, even if it is something small and silly, hoping that maybe it will at least bring a smile to their face. You never know what kind of day or week that they are having, and it could make their whole day or week!

Quarantine does not always have to be bad. We just need to make the most of it!

Also, something a little off topic, being pregnant, our little one moves almost constantly even still as he is growing! Since I could start to feel him move, he has not stopped moving! From the minute I wake up every day to the minute I go to bed and try to sleep, he is still moving! I am thankful for these moments, although sometimes his movements are a little painful, I love the feelings of his movement in my body! We can even see him move. You can be across the room and still be able to see the movements! They are that big! You’d think he is trying to come out! I still think about it, about how I have a child living and growing inside me! It is crazy what a woman’s body does! But anyway, hope this blog finds you well, I know I haven’t been very active on it much. You’d think I’d be able to during this quarantine, but like I said above, there is so much to do, and my blog isn’t exactly at the top of my priority list. I am going to try to get better with it though!

Happy Quarantine! We can and we will get through this! Together! Make all the memories you can during this time, with your family!

We all know that this year is coming to an end. We all make resolutions for the next year that we usually end up giving up on by the end of January, if not sooner. Some will last a couple months, maybe, but more often than not, we give up on our resolutions. I don’t really make “resolutions”. I make goals that I would like to achieve by the end of the next year, but I do that every year. As in, I continue every year because there is always something that I can improve on.

If I was still single and living by myself, I would just work on myself and be the best that I could be, with Gods help, of course. We cannot always work on ourselves though, even when we are single. If that makes sense. In a way, we are always working on ourselves, whether we think we are or not. Everything we do, every day, is adding or taking away from ourselves. The question is, what are we adding or taking away from our character, from ourselves?

Now that I am married and have a family to take care of, my goals are all about them. We just had Christmas, and I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas and enjoyed time with their friends and families! There is a day that many people do their Christmas shopping on (besides Christmas Eve :P). It is Black Friday. I went Black Friday shopping with my mother-in-law, and she asked my husband (if I remember correctly), what he needed or wanted, and he said “Just buy my wife something nice.” Which is super sweet, right?! It was. The only problem is, there is nothing I can think of that I want or need, besides groceries and money for bills, am I right? 😛 I will look at things on Amazon and see things that I like but then I look at it some more, and then I change my mind.

Anyway, I was out shopping on Black Friday with my mom-in-law, and she wanted to do what my husband said – buy me something nice. Which I did look. I looked at the clothes. I really looked. I tried super hard to find something that I really liked, and liked enough that I would actually wear more than once. Well, now that I have a family, all I think about it getting things for my husband, my daughter and even the dogs sometimes. 😛

I hardly ever look for myself anymore. Unless it’s like a cheap $5 shirt or sweater or something, which you can usually only find at Walmart, and maybe occasionally Target. But I hardly ever go shopping anymore, anyway. The only shopping I do is groceries and paying bills and occasionally I’ll pick something up for my daughter or husband if I see something that they would like.

Do you ever find yourself like that? You try so hard to find something you like, because maybe either someone (your husband) wants you to get something nice or maybe you just want to splurge on yourself a little bit, but you just can’t find anything that you really want? The only thing that I’ll splurge on myself every now and then is maybe a coffee from Starbucks, because think about it, those coffees aren’t cheap! Am I right?! Or I’ll go get a slush from Sonic or something like that! That is my splurging on myself these days, if at all.

But anyway, back to the new year part! I tend to go on rabbit trails sometimes, But then again, I actually didn’t go on one this time! But now I am!

So, when you think about your New Year Resolutions, just think about what you want to do to better yourself for yourself, for your family, or whatever it may be. Or maybe it is to volunteer at a certain place once or twice a month or something like that. Don’t make “resolutions”, just take life one day at a time, do your best, and have a better relationship with God. We need to read our Bibles more, and really get into it, not just skim through and say “Ok, I read it.” and be done. We need to really think about the words and pages that we are reading. Those are God’s Word, after all.

We are also expecting our second child! We are very excited! If you all would pray for us in this, and that the pregnancy will go smoothly, and that we can figure out our finances and find a house that will work for us and our budget, that would be greatly appreciated! We are a growing family of four now! Six – if you count the dogs! 🙂

We have three more days of 2019 left. Make them worth it. And make every day after that worth it and make them count.

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Here is to 2020!

Being a mom is hard work. It is exhausting and it makes you want just want to scream sometimes, if I’m being completely honest. Any other moms like that?! I’m sure I’m not the only one. It was hard at times, to find the time to do school with a child running around the house, but it all worked out and I passed all four of my classes! I was excited about that! It gave me some confidence back.

I don’t know about you, but as a mom, sometimes I lose my confidence. I feel like I am not doing things right, or maybe it’d be better if I did it this way instead, etc. We all feel that way at times, do we not? Life is hard. Then when you add being a mother and wife, and then having to figure out a time to do school, it makes it just a little bit stressful! Just a little! Okay, I’m lying. It made it A LOT stressful! But I made it through my first term with only a few scratches and bruises!

When I saw that I passed all my classes, it helped me see that I’m not a complete failure. Although I do feel like a failure as a wife and a mom sometimes. My husband does a great job being a daddy! I love watching him with our little girl! Seeing them play together, seeing her laugh so hard when he tickles her or just when he is playing with her and taking time to play with her, just makes my day!

I have an Associates of Science Degree in Criminal Justice, and I wanted to get a bachelors degree and we thought “why not now?” plus, so many jobs nowadays requires or “prefers” you to have a bachelors degree. And I loved my criminal justice classes back at college. So I am getting my Bachelors degree in Criminal Psychology. I am enjoying it so far. I love to write, but when I’m in school and I HAVE to write, I dread it. I love writing when I can choose what to write about, but when I have to write for a class and have a deadline, I hate it! Anyone else with me? I do okay with stress, pressure and deadlines SOMETIMES, but the majority of the time, not so much! 😛

What can I do with a criminal psychology degree? There are a few things that can be done with it. I can be a victim advocate, I can work in the court system as a court liaison, a jury consultant, I can be a juvenile offenders counselor, probation officer, there are many things that I can do with it. I’m not completely sure what I want to do with it, but I know I love to help people, and there are many different degrees I could get that would allow me to help people more, but I love the psychology of things, and why people do things, and such. So as I get further in my classes, I will know more on exactly what I want to do with it! I would definitely appreciate your prayers as I go through my schooling. I plan to be done by this time next year, if not sooner!

I am very excited for what next year holds for many reasons! I have a wonderful family, I will be finishing my bachelors degree, Lord willing, and I just have so many things and people to be thankful for. We are almost at the end of another year, we have so many things to be thankful for! God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good!

I recently had a birthday, and as I reflect on my life and what has happened in these last 25 years, well, the last few years really (A LOT), I think of what all God has given me.

A lot has happened already in my 20’s. I have been through a lot, but my family has been there! I have become a wife and mother and it has been amazing! It’s not easy all the time, or hardly ever, but I still enjoy every minute of it. I am blessed with what God has given me {and not given me, when I thought it was what I needed/wanted}.

I don’t really ask for much for my birthday anymore. Let’s be honest, what we really need/want for our birthdays anymore is money. Money for bills and to help pay things off. Right?! Or is that just me??

I just wanted to spend the day with my family for my birthday! And I got to do just that, it was great! We went to the pumpkin patch, then went to the in-laws for lunch, then went home and just relaxed.

Anna loved walking around everywhere and seeing everything! She especially loved the goat! And when she would move, the goat would follow her along his fence!

She loved just being able to go anywhere. We watched her, of course. She would try to follow other little children around (most of them were boys, uh-oh)! But she enjoyed it! She had a hard time picking out a pumpkin, it was so cute! She went to every area that had pumpkins. She’d look at them, then she move them around if she could. She’d walk around to others, and look at them. It was so cute. I love watching her grow and see new things and trying to figure them out. She’s so smart already.

She makes my heart melt pretty much every day! She’ll look at you, just because, and smile with the biggest smile! It’s the sweetest thing! I hate that she’s growing up so fast, but I enjoy watching her grow and learn new things! I love seeing the looks on her face when she sees something new!

How are we when we see God do something in someone’s life? Are we like a little child seeing/hearing it for the first time? Are we excited and happy for that person? How do we react to those things? Are we jealous of others? Do we wish that we got something paid off fully or whatever it may be? Everyone goes through different trials, they may be similar, but everyone has different experiences. Does that make sense? How do we react to others experiences to similar things that we’ve had experiences with? Maybe they handled it better than you did, or it ended better for them that it did for you. Don’t dwell on those kinds of things! Everything happens for a reason, and at just the time that we need it.

Anyway, got a little off-topic there for a second, but still! God is so Good! He gives us more than we deserve, and doesn’t give us what we really deserve. I am so thankful for another year that God has given me! And for the family that He has given me. I couldn’t have asked for anyone else! He knew exactly who I needed and who needed me! Isn’t God awesome!?!?! 🙂

I hope you all are having an awesome FALL season! Fall is my absolute favorite season of the year! I love all the colors, the weather, its hoodie and boot season! Scarf season! I love it all! What’s your favorite season and why?!

Today is Mental Health Awareness Day. Everyone has some days where they struggle mentally. Today, ironically, was one of those days for me. It was a good, but overall hard day today. I didn’t know it was Mental Health Awareness Day till this afternoon/evening. Then I kind of laughed, because it was a rough day for me. I thought, “Huh! That’s ironic!” But a lot of things in life tend to be ironic.

Life is hard.

Right? I mean, there’s very few people that I know that do NOT struggle, if any.

I saw this quote today from a former US Soccer player named Jaelene Hinkle, and it really hit me. She said, “If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.”

Growing up, and sometimes still, I was a people-pleaser. I had to do what made everyone else happy, even if I was miserable. That does a lot to our mental health. Seriously. I still catch myself doing it, sometimes, but not as often. I still do things for others, but not because I have to, to make them happy; I do it because I want to, and I’m happy to do it.

So many times, there are people who think they have a lot of friends, and those that are closest to them, they can go to for anything. But then, when you go through something and you try to talk to them, they just shut you out. Anyone been there? The friends that you thought were going to be there, who said they would be there {no matter what}, and then they’re not?

Life can be hard. But it is also what you make of it. Sometimes we lose friends, but then we gain something, that could be even better than what we lost. It can be hard to see that sometimes, but when time passes and you realize, it gets “easier”. It doesn’t make the situation WHEN it happened, but it is easier now.

I’m thankful for the friends that have stood by me, even when it was hard to stand by me. And I know it’s been hard at times! Sometimes I don’t even want to be around me! But I feel like everyone has those moments, even if they don’t want to admit it. Sometimes we just get really stressed out, we just want to get away from everything and ourselves, except we can’t get away from ourselves or everything.

I have a couple friends that I can still talk to and tell them about what’s going on in my life, and they will encourage me and lift me up when I need it! Which lately, has been a lot. But I don’t like “bothering” my friends with my troubles, so I’ll usually keep it in or at least write it in my journal. Here are som pictures of those friends and the friendship we have!

I try to write daily, but with life and how crazy and hectic it has been, I haven’t been able to journal everyday. Does anyone else journal daily, or try to?

I used to journal all the time, growing up. I always enjoyed writing. I still do, just don’t have as much time right now! But that’s okay! When I can find the time, I write! It helps me relax, when I write!

Find those friends that are really there for you! Text them, call them up, tell them what’s going on in your life, and stay in touch with them, at least weekly! Ask them how they’re doing, if there’s anything you can pray for them about, pray WITH them! That’s always encouraging too! We need more friends who will pray WITH each other, not just FOR each other.

Life is hard, but {true} friends do make it easier! If you need a friend, I’m here for you! I love you all!

And of course, my husband and daughter!

You all know how much I love our precious Anastasia! When I was growing up, I always wanted a little girl, and I wanted to name her Anastasia! I’ve always loved the name, and not because of the movie! Although I do love the Disney movie too.

When I look at our daughter, I still…it’s hard to believe that she is ours. That I grew this precious baby in my belly. I never thought I would have a child of my own, for multiple reasons. I won’t go into those right now. Maybe in another blog post, we’ll see. But anyway, when we found out we were pregnant, I was excited, scared, nervous, pretty much every emotion that there was, but the good kind of it!

Every time I look at her face, I am just amazed! God is so amazing! That he gave us the “ability” to grow a little human inside of us. It is painful at times, but the pain is worth it in the end. Anastasia is her mommy and daddy’s world! She means the world to us!

I’ll look at her and daddy playing together, he’ll be chasing her around the house and she’ll be giggling and trying to get away, or sometimes she’ll run right to Daddy! It is the cutest things in the world!

When Anna was born, and we were in the hospital for a few days longer than we wanted, when I saw the looks Brandon gave our little girl, it melted my heart. My husband also thought he could never have children, for reasons I won’t mention right now either. When we found out we were pregnant, we proved that wrong! Not necessarily on purpose, but it happened! We were excited though!

He was the proudest daddy in the world! And he has that look even more every day that she grows and gets bigger and smarter! She may squeal super loudly and hurt our ears sometimes, but we don’t love her any less because of it! The times she wants to just sit on our laps and snuggle, those are definitely the times that we are treasuring right now! Because we know she’s not always going to be like that!

She is our little firecracker! She is a ball of energy, and she lights up every room she enters! When I look at her and her big ol’ smile, it makes me smile the biggest smile! I know everyone says to wait to have kids, have some alone time with your husband first. Which I do wish we could have had some time together before but that is totally okay! I wouldn’t change any of it for anything! I can’t remember what it was like before we had Anna! And that’s okay!

She may make it harder to just get up and go somewhere, but that’s okay! We love her so much, we love all the memories that we are making together as a family! She is our gift from God. Our favorite gift that we have ever gotten! We cannot wait to see her grow and learn so much! Although, we also CAN wait for her to grow, because they’re only little for a short time.

I don’t know about anyone else, but this year has FLOWN by! I don’t know if it’s because we have a child now or what, but this year has gone by so fast! I can’t believe it is already October! Soon it will be Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then another year will be gone. The pictures below were from last Christmas! Time flies and she has grown so much since then! Enjoy the time with them!

These are the times that when Anna is playing or sleeping, I will just watch her! Not in a creepy way, either! Moms (and Dads) know what I’m talking about! I will just watch her play with her toys, look at her books, and I will watch her face! I watch her face just glow so bright when her toys makes a sound or she comes to a page in a book, and she smiles so big!

I love having a daughter! Anna is so much fun! She loves our dogs! She will go up to the dogs and pet them then give them hugs and kiss their noses! The smaller one is really hyper, so she doesn’t give her very many hugs because she gets up and runs off! But the bigger one, she’ll stay still mostly, she’s more calm and laid back. Anna is starting to be more interactive with the dogs more, she loves to throw their balls and toys for them to go run and get, although it doesn’t get thrown very far! She loves it and she just squeals with joy! The dogs like it too, because they have someone else to play with now!

Life gets busy sometimes and we don’t always have time to play with Anna or the dogs. But you just gotta make time. Set whatever you’re doing down, and go play with your children! Make those memories! Don’t let your children remember that you were sitting at the computer or playing a game or doing paperwork all the time, and didn’t have time to play with them, or even to help them study for a test or with some homework. Make time for your children. That is what they will remember.

I look at Anna’s face and I can’t help but smile! She is so beautiful, and I’m not saying that because I grew her in my belly! I look at every detail I can! That is also why I’m always taking pictures of her! I do enjoy the moments, too! But I’ll take a few pictures of her playing with toys or playing with daddy, then I’ll join them, or I’ll even just watch them for a little bit. I love watching them play together and giggling together! It makes my heart smile so big!

Don’t take time with your children, your spouse, or anyone, for granted. Make that time with them, make it last as long as possible. You don’t know how long you will have!

Children are a blessing and a gift from God!

What we do is a choice. Other people don’t make us do we choose to do. They don’t make the choices for us. The choices we make is OURS, and ours alone.

So many times, we blame someone for the choices we make. For example, umm…”I hate what *** did to us.” Meaning, what someone else did caused me to make a decision about us (whoever ‘us’ is) and therefore it’s done.

Does that make sense?

This may be a long blog post, and it may be a short one, I’m not really sure yet. I’m still thinking on some of it.

But to be honest, choices is something that we make everyday. We choose to get out of bed, we choose to go to work even though we don’t want to. We may hate our job, but it’s what is paying the bills right now. Everyone is going through something and some people don’t know what else to do, so in order to ‘justify’ what they do, they put the blame on someone or something else. Which isn’t the best thing to do. For you, for the other person, whatever it may be.

Why do we do what we do? Whether it’s our job, the choices we make, the friends we have. Why are you friends with your friends? Why do you do the job that you are at? Is it the only place that would hire you? Are you waiting to get something better, and you need a paycheck so you’re there till what you really want opens up?

WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO??

I wasn’t going to put it anywhere, or really tell anyone, at least not for awhile, but it seems to go along with what I’m saying in this post. I’m going back to school next month. It actually starts the day after my birthday! It’s like Happy Birthday, now go to school! But seriously, I’m excited! I chose to go back to school because 1) I do like school, for the most part. 2) I am excited about what I’m going to do and what I can do. And 3) It’ll help me to get a better job, one that I will enjoy doing, and help pay the bills while I’m doing something that I actually enjoy doing!

9 people out of 10 are only doing their jobs because it pays the bills. How many people are seriously doing what they love!? I am genuinely curious! If you are reading this, tell me what you do, and whether you love it or not, and if not, tell me what your dream job is! It’s not to bash your current jobs. We all need a job, we all have bills that need to be paid. It’s not a bad thing to be at a job that you hate, unless it is literally hurting your health. When it comes to hurt your health – physically, mentally, spiritually – then it is bad, and you need to figure out what you need to do different or talk to someone there that could help you.

If you are finding yourself truly miserable, with no motivation to do ANYTHING, find a change. Find something that you really enjoy doing. If you don’t even know what that is, then just start trying different things. Find a hobby! Talk to me! We can be friends! I’d love to be friends with you! Especially if you read my blog, that would mean the world to me to meet someone through my blog! That’d be pretty awesome actually! I’ve heard some cool stories like that! Everyone needs friends that they can talk to!

This blog post went in a different way then I was intending it to, but that’s okay! Everything we do is a choice. The words I wrote were all a choice. Sometimes I say and write the wrong things, who doesn’t? But that’s why we talk things through and work them out. Some things can’t be worked out, sometimes, even though it can be, but not everyone wants to work things out. So that, again, is also a choice that someone made.

Are we making the right choices?! Look to the Bible, talk to a friend before you make any rash decisions, or are not completely sure about something. If you don’t have a friend like that, I will be that friend.

Hope this brought some encouragement to someone. Thank you for reading this far! Have a great Thursday and a great weekend!

Okay, so not everyone, IF anyone, is fearless. But about a month or so ago, I got a pop socket. Yes, I’m one of those people. Sometimes, anyway. I didn’t have one for awhile, but then I saw one that I really liked. One that would remind me of something every day that I saw it. There’s a Bible reference on it also. It is Proverbs 31:25, which states “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” The little statement that is on my pop socket is “She is Fearless”.

When we have God on our side, we CAN be fearless. Because He has everything under control. It may be hard to feel fearless, but it is possible. God is always there for us. I’ve been struggling a lot lately, spiritually. I just keep having one thing after another, and it just feels like everything is piling up on top of one another. And it feels like it keeps getting higher and harder, and it isn’t getting easier. But I know that if I put my FULL trust in God, He will be there, He is there. We can’t just give Him half of our heart, He needs and wants the WHOLE heart.

So many times, we will give Him one thing but not another. We say “Oh, I’m going to hold on to this just a little bit longer then I’ll give it to you. But I just can’t right now, God.” We know we CAN trust Him, but for some reason, we don’t. Why is that, do you think? Any thoughts on that? Or think about why you think you can’t or don’t trust Him with some of the things in your life. He already knows about them, so why not actually talk TO Him and tell Him about it.

But…that’s not how it works. When you give something up, it shouldn’t be a sacrifice. When we give things up, in the right way, as in when we give them to God, it is NEVER a sacrifice. Because who knows, what God is really holding onto for us. He’s just waiting for you to be ready. But we can’t be “almost ready” for long. God doesn’t want to hurt us. He wants to be there for us, through everything – the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. 🙂

This past year has been a year of ups and downs. Everyone has ups and downs, I know. We are all going through something. Everyone is secretly crying out for help, like I said in my last blog post. Someone may just need a hug, I know it’s weird to offer a random stranger a hug, but sometimes, when you see someone that just looks really down and sad, try offering them a hug. It could and probably will make their whole day so much brighter. Or give them a friendly smile, if you don’t want to offer a random stranger a hug.

Think of it this way. if you will.

If you were at, what you thought was, your lowest point in life, you didn’t know what to do anymore, and you were just sitting somewhere or even just walking somewhere…would you say ‘no’ to a someone offering to give you a hug? Obviously, depending on if they looked okay, and not like a thief or pickpocket or something like that, but you could tell they were genuinely genuine. Would you say No?

I don’t know about you, but I would probably take the hug. It’s been a long couple of months. But that doesn’t mean I am giving up. I look at my pop socket, and it reminds me that God is with me, and that I CAN be fearless. Because I have God on my side. No matter what happens, He is there. This is just a reminder for those who may be struggling with similar things, or just that God is STILL there. He is ALWAYS there! If you need someone to talk to, after praying and talking to God, I am here. I love talking to people, and listening to them and just being there for them. I’d love to be there for you.

This was just a piece of my heart today, as I was thinking and just reminiscing on some things in life. Hope this brought encouragement to someone! Have a great weekend!