What kind of Friend are you?

I’m the kind of friend that will invest all of me into my friends. But if I need help or want to tell someone something exciting that I’ve decided to do or am thinking about doing, I don’t get the same kind of response. Or even close. It’ll be like “why?” “What for?” and that hurts. When they text or tell me something, I’m super excited for them, but when I tell them something, I get the opposite. I get the feeling that I’m a failure. And that isn’t how we should be talking to our friends. That’s not the kind of friends that we should be.

I don’t have very many close friends that I can just text at any time anymore. I used to have so many friends. Or I thought I did. But after awhile, I realized they were just using me because they knew what kind of friend I am (read above in case you don’t remember). If one of my friends is sick, I will get them or make them soup to help them feel better. If someone mentions something that they’ve wanted to eat for awhile but just never have gotten around to it, I will go out and get that food, or whatever it may be. I am the kind of friend that will go out of my way for you. Even if I can’t exactly afford it, that is how I am.

The rest of the this year and the rest of my life (haha), I am working on being better with money, except a few things here and there like birthdays and holidays and such, of course! But anyway, I will still be there for my friends, but I am trying to be smarter with my money and watching where it all goes! I will probably do another blog post on all that since this one is about friends and what kinds of friends we are.

There are ten types of friends you will have throughout your lifetime. First, is obviously your first friend – someone you’ve known for a long time. Sometimes a first friend is a forever friend, someone you’re able to grow with and tackle any obstacles you encounter together. Often times a first friend is someone you’re still able to keep in your life, even if it’s more from afar. They were there for so many pivotal moments and you love being able to reminisce together, even if you don’t talk all that much anymore. You know that no matter what they will be there, as if you have been together the whole time or were never apart!

Second – a fairweather friend – someone who is only there for the good stuff. Once it gets hard or you stop doing things for them, they’re gone. They want to hear about the cute thing your dog did or the promotion you just got, but they’re not someone you confide in when it comes to the heavy stuff. They are basically a surface-level friend. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you’re realistic about what the friendship is. If you’ve tried confiding in them about more emotional stuff and they’re always a bit standoffish, but they don’t hesitate to come to you with their own emotional stuff, then you may want to reevaluate things. I’ve had these kinds of friends before. They didn’t last too long. There’s nothing wrong with surface-level relationships as long as they’re even. Don’t give more than you’re getting back.

Third – the fake friend – Pretty self-explanatory.
This is the person in your life who you refer to as a friend in conversation but is really more of an acquaintance, and even that is probably being generous. You don’t really trust them, and you probably never have. Remember, you don’t have to be friends with someone if you don’t want to be, even if you’re in the same group or you have to see them a lot. You can keep things pleasant, of course, but you don’t have to make an effort one on one. You can choose who you’re close to. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s why people say I’m different around certain people, they think I’m being fake. I’m not being fake, I’m just different around certain people. I can be more adventurous with one friend than I can with another, because the other friend isn’t as adventurous or they’re too scared or something. That doesn’t mean I’m being fake!

Next – the fun friend – A fun friend is probably more of an acquaintance.
They’ve always got something going on, and when you’re together, it’s all about the fun. Can you be serious with this person, or do they try to make everything a joke? Which is fine, but sometimes you need to be serious, you can’t turn everything into a joke. You need to be real.

The fierce friend – This is the friend who you know will always have your back. Even if you’re not always as close in the day-to-day moments, they’re there when it counts. They have a strong moral compass and definitely aren’t afraid to use it to help keep you on the right track. They’re fierce when it comes to defending you, but they’re also fierce when it comes to making sure you confront the issues within yourself too. They’ll tell you if they think you’re wrong, and they’d also probably egg a car in your honor. It goes both ways.
This kind of friend, I have very few of. And that is okay. I don’t want a hundred friends, most likely because very few of them will be “close” friends. I don’t want a big number of friends, I want real friends that I can talk to and that I know will be there for me, and vise versa. A fierce friend is a great person to have in your corner, but try to make sure it goes both ways and reciprocate that energy when you can. Even the fierce need to be taken care of sometimes, too. I feel like I am the fierce friend sometimes, and I do everything for them, but when I need something, I get nothing back. And that’s also hard. So be careful with that. As I said, even the fierce need to be taken care of sometimes, too.

The For Now friend – A for now friend is someone who you already know isn’t going to stick around for the long run. Circumstance brought you together, but you’re very aware that it won’t be enough forever. When you look at your life 10 years from now, you probably don’t see this person still being someone you see or talk to regularly. Enjoy the moments you have with them though. Who knows, you may have been in that person’s life for a specific reason, even if it wasn’t for a very long time!

The Fickle friend – This friend runs very hot and cold. One day it feels like you’re best friends and the next thing you know they’ve distanced themselves. One minute they love you and the next they’re mad at you. You often feel like you have whiplash from trying to keep up. I’ve learned it’s especially tricky to deal with fickle friends if they’re not super willing to talk about things as they come up. A problem can only be fixed if both people are willing to address it.
I am always there for my friends. I hate talking about my problems because I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I don’t know if that makes me seem fickle to some people, but if I seem quiet or seem like I don’t have any troubles in my life, this is why. I’m not being fickle, just don’t want to burden others.

The Familiar friend – A familiar friend is someone who you were probably super close to at one point, and even though you aren’t as close anymore, they’re still in your life. I bet when you think of the familiar friend archetype someone immediately comes to mind. I think it’s the type a lot of us can relate to the most. It’s ok to keep a familiar friend around, as long as it’s not holding us back or stunting our growth. Sometimes we hold on to friends longer than we’re meant to because letting go would be painful, even if we know it’s the right thing to do.

The Flaky friend – This is the friend who you have to make plans with six times before something finally sticks. Who says they want to hang out but then doesn’t make an effort to make it happen and often doesn’t provide an explanation as to why. They can also be flaky emotionally, too, all in on helping you through something one minute, and then suddenly they leave you hanging.
I’ve felt like this many times. Not my being the flaky friend, but having them. Trying to plan to get together, and then something comes up, which I completely understand, it’s just hard when it happens a lot.
Sometimes, when someone is struggling mentally, it can translate into flakiness. We cancel plans or make promises we can’t keep because we’re in a really bad spot and we don’t know how to handle it. I certainly know I’ve been there before. And they have those days too. Don’t get upset because someone changes your plans or cancels, just check on them. Make sure they are okay, and if they need something, you can help out. But again, remember, don’t let them take advantage of you, but still be there in a way! If that makes sense!

Finally, the Forever friend! A forever friend is someone that you know will be around forever. It’s just the bond you have. You’ve been in each other’s lives for a while, and through all the ups and downs, you’ve been committed to working to make sure your bond stays strong. Even when you fight or disagree, there’s no doubt in your mind that you’ll always get through it. Your friendship isn’t perfect; it’s real.
Obviously this friend is a keeper, but remember, just because you know they’ll be around forever isn’t an excuse to stop working on the relationship. Even forever friendships need growth and maintenance. Try not to take them for granted. This goes along with marriage too. Just because you are married and marriage is for forever (or it should be anyway), don’t take your spouse for granted! Still go on dates! Get to know them more! There is always something more to learn about them! Trust me! 🙂

Some of these friendship types probably overlap. You may have currently or have had in the past friends who fall into more than one type. It’s bound to happen. Sometimes I’m not quite sure which people in my own life fall into which categories. That’s ok, as long as I stay aware of how each relationship fits into my life. But be sure that you are being the right kind of friend! Out of the ten types above, do you fall into any of the categories/types? Be honest with yourself! It’s hard, I know! And if you do, learn how to improve!

In my next blog, I will talk about what type of friends that we need in our life! If you have read this far, I appreciate you very much! And I hope you are enjoying my blog! Feel free to subscribe to my blog so you can see when the next blog publishes! 🙂