Do you feel like you’re losing yourself? Maybe even again? As a mom, I feel like this happens to us several times, maybe even daily. We know we are trying our best to be the best mom we can be, while also trying to be the best wife to our husbands. But sometimes, that is easier said than done, right? We try to take care of the household things, the dishes, the laundry, the cooking, everything. And yet, we hardly have time to even take care of ourselves. Moms don’t get burnout, necessarily. We just want time to ourselves, to actually take care of ourselves. Whether it’s an uninterrupted shower, which is technically personal hygiene which everyone needs, and even then, we don’t always have time to take a shower either. Our kids want to be with us while we take a shower, even while we go to the bathroom. That’s not exactly what we had in mind! Right!? We need alone time, going out to get groceries is not always the “alone time” we want, either. We want time to just be alone, without having to “buy” anything specific such as groceries, or anything like that. Just to be. Alone.
Plus, even after being married, you still need to date your spouse. Many times, I am the one to plan our outings, or our dates. And yes, while it is nice to get out, it’d be nice to not have to plan them all, and to be surprised every once in awhile. That is why so many marriages lose the “spark”, or the marriage gets “dry”. They don’t date each other, the man doesn’t plan the dates.
Although, dates are still needed in a marriage; but when you are still trying to get a house, your first house, and inflation and all the prices of everything have skyrocketed, it’s hard to go on dates, when you are trying to pay things off and save money for a down payment for a house. Which yes, saving for a house is good, but you still need to take and make time for each other.
I am also being a surrogate, currently. Which yes, while it is rewarding helping someone have a family that they couldn’t have otherwise, and while I do get paid for it, which how the economy is right now, it is still barely enough to be able to save for a house, like we planned. I thought I’d be able to put aside at least half of each payment to a house savings. But guess what?? Nope! And with the utilities in the winter, it’s so expensive, and groceries are expensive.
While I do enjoy being home with the kids, it is still hard. Because it is hard to save money so that we can get a house like we planned. It is hard to not lose yourself because you feel like you are failing at everything you wanted. While I’ve been applying to jobs to still work inside the home, and some outside the home, it’s hard to not lose yourself and feel like you’re not failing your children and even your husband. While he does work outside the home, and is able to come home at a decent time during the day, unless they get overtime, he is still tired and doesn’t want to do anything after he gets home. So that doesn’t help with having alone time with yourself as a mom, or with your husband.
I do enjoy being home and attempting to be a good housewife and a mom, but some days are harder than others, as any mom would tell you. Some days, you just want to be lazy, but then when you have a lazy day, you feel guilty for not getting anything done. And then on the not lazy days, you feel like you did too much and maybe didn’t spend as much time with your kids and wish you had taken them out of the house or to just do something not at the house.
I guess I got kind of off-topic from the beginning. Losing yourself can happen to anyone, but I feel like it’s more prevalent in moms, whether you’re a new mom or an experienced mom. We wear so many “hats” at once, that it is hard to pick out what to do exactly with ourselves and our surroundings. We’ve gotta be patient with ourselves, as well as our spouse and our kids. It is hard, sometimes. But if we weren’t meant to be a mom, God wouldn’t have given us our children. There is always something to learn about ourselves, about being a mom and about being a wife. It may feel like we are losing ourselves, but we can’t give up. For our family and for ourself. ❤
Adventures Of Motherhood 