Am I a Good Mom?

Many times, if not every day, we, as moms, ask ourselves – “Am I a good mom?” On certain days, when the kids are just not listening at all that day, it’s hard to be a “good” mom, right? At least, that’s how I feel. When I just lose it with my daughter, I feel horrible immediately after. I feel like the worst mom on the planet. I know that not all days are good days and yes, sometimes the kids do not always listen, but that doesn’t mean that we should blow up in their face.

When that happens, I feel like crap right after. I will even apologize to my three year daughter. Should parents apologize to their kids who may or may not completely understand yet? Yes. Yes, we should. If we don’t, they will think that it is okay to just yell or “lose it” and be done. We need to teach our children that we will “lose” it but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t apologize for losing our cool. Even if they are three years old, we can and should apologize to them. Hug them. Tell them you love them, and yes, apologize. They will most likely hug you back and just hold on to you. At least, that is what my daughter does! She is at that age, where she can tell if something is bothering me or her daddy. Sometimes she will come up to me and just put her hand on my shoulder or even my face (cheeks) and say, “You okay, mommy?” and she will just hold my face in her little hand. It’s the sweetest thing.

It reminds me of how we are in Jesus’ hands. He is holding us in His hands and He is telling us it will be okay. I’ve heard the quote many times, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” But maybe He gives us more than we can handle to show us that we can’t do it alone. That we do need Him. Because many times, we think that we can everything on our own. We think, “why do we need God?” Well, no matter what we think – we DO need Him!

Just about every day, I ask myself – am I a good mom? I have those days, where I will just put the kids in their room for awhile. I will check on them and change diapers and feed them, but other than that, I leave them in their room and let them play in their room and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (my daughters current obsession). Sometimes I just need a day to myself. And I know being a mom, I sort of stopped letting myself have days alone after having kids. But I just need some quiet time for more than five minutes. Is that a bad thing? Even just wanting five minutes alone makes me feel like a bad mom.

I love my kids with all my heart. I do. They are great kids – for the most part! 😛 My son is a complete mama’s boy and I love it! I really do! But if he is happy not being held, then I try to take that time and have some quiet time to myself. Whether it’s taking a shower or a bath or just sitting/laying on the bed, possibly crying and just letting it all out. I also hate crying, in front of anyone, and especially the kids. I know they need to see us, parents, as people who cry too, but sometimes I just really do not want them to see me cry.

Being a mom is hard. It is very rewarding, but it is hard. I wouldn’t trade it for anything! I love being a mom, I love our son and daughter.

I have so many things I want to do. I have no time to do them anymore. I enjoy painting, but haven’t been able to get my paints out in awhile. I love to write, but as you can tell, I haven’t been able to write in quite awhile. I have a journal to that I physically write in, and if I’m lucky, I get to write in it maybe once a month. I used to be really good and write in it almost every day, but life gets busy. I thought I would be able to find more time to write. Physically and in here, my blog. But it’s been hectic.

Writing is my outlet, many times. When I don’t want to yell or cry it out, I will write it out. Sometimes I will keep what I write and sometimes I will write it and then throw it away. Does anyone else have something like that that they do, as an outlet? Writing or playing piano or anything? I used to play piano as an outlet too, but I haven’t been able to play in a while. When we get a house, I would love to get a piano and be able to play more often. Another one of my dreams. Get a house. Get a piano in the house. Someday these things will happen. When? I don’t know. But someday. 🙂